Joseph Allyn Andrus

It is with great sadness we share that our beautiful son, Joseph Allyn Andrus, died early in the morning on August 7th, in Albuquerque, New Mexico. We lost him to gun violence while he was driving for Uber to raise money for his start up company.

Joseph was welcomed home to Heaven by his grandparents, Alice Karen Jackson, Kenneth Allen Andrus Sr, and Martha Green, as well as his aunt, Aimee Michelle Jackson.

Joey is survived by his mother, Allison Helene Green (Utah) his sister, Aimee Elizabeth Green (Utah), and his brother, Robert, Michael Winward (Utah), Michael’s wife Lexi and their three children. Joey also leaves behind his father, Caleb Allyn Andrus (Kentucky), his brothers, Trevor Lee Andrus and Gage Alexander Andrus (Kentucky) and sister, Makenna Marie Andrus (Kentucky). Joseph is missed by John Harry Green Jr. (Maryland), the person he only knew as “Dad”. In addition, Joe is loved and remembered by his grandparents, Terry Jackson and Susan Walker (California), Mary Elizabeth Andrus (Kentucky), along with Aunts, Uncles and cousins across the country.

In lieu of flowers, please consider donating to the Trevor Project. Every child deserves hope and joy. Those two things are Joey‘s gift to everyone who knew him. In this way, we can continue to share his gift.

Joey was born on August 16, 1994 in a military hospital at Fort Belvoir, Virginia. From the moment he took his first breath, he has been the brightest of lights in this world.

Joe is deeply loved by his whole family. Joe didn’t have friends, he had family. If you knew him, you know that. He’s the gentlest soul and never met a person that he judged or felt unkind towards. He was always that way. He gave his brand new sleeping bag to a homeless man so he would be warm in the winter just after he started scouts. He would spend his lunch money at the bakery on the way to school to buy food to give to the homeless on the way when he walked to school. I remember how sweet it was when he saw all of the dandelions that had turned to seed, and he looked at me and said “Oh mommy! Look at all the wishing flowers! I bet there’s one for every kid in my school!” That was Joe.

It was just the two of us until he was 14. We always said we’re like the Gilmore Girls, but he’s a guy. If you want to know what our relationship was like? Watch that show. We made amazing memories. Even when he was a grumpy teen. I mean, to be fair, he’s my apple and I’m his tree. That apple did not fall far.

Joe has a little sister who just turned 16 in June. He’s the only person she wanted to call before all of her surgeries. He helped her be calm and brave. He’s been by her side from the day she was born. He’s the best brother ever. She said in her tribute to her big brother that he’s the only person in the world that she wants to spend all of her time with. She smiled first for him. Her first word was Joey. They absolutely adored each other. He will always be her hero.

I placed my oldest for adoption 3 years before I had Joe. He’s been devastated by this. They’ve known each other most of their lives. His entire family is feeling this loss. Having just gone through it only weeks before themselves, it’s been very heavy for my oldest to carry. His entire family is mourning with us. And we are mourning with them.

We have a group chat with all my kids, including the “bonus” kids that Joey and Aimee brought into our lives. Joe named it The Tree and Its Anxious Apples. I love his sense of humor! My kids are finding comfort with each other now in that chat.

Joey loves the man who was his stepdad. We’re divorced, but their relationship is something special. Joe had started the process of adult adoption so that he’d officially be Dad.

Joe found his way through struggles. He worked hard to make his life a good one and surrounded himself with the best people. He overcame so much and his story is inspiring. He’d be the first to help someone else. It was one of the ways he made bad things that he’d gone through into something positive.

This year, Joey overcame his fear of flying and he was proud of that. Flying opened up a whole new world for him. This Christmas he was going to be spending it in Utah with me and his sister. Just the week before, he went to Boston.

He still checked in with me regularly and still let me be Mom. I miss those messages and phone calls so much. I really love being his mom. He’s such a great son.

Joey is an Eagle Scout. He served as the Southern Region President for Venturing with the Boy Scouts of America, and was part of the national youth council.

Joe recently graduated from New Mexico State University with a Bachelors in Information Communication Technology, Cyber Security. That’s been a goal of his for years and he made it happen. Our whole family is so proud of him.

Joe had almost 10 years experience in cyber security industry. His loss has really resonated with some of the founder community on Reddit. A month before we lost him, Joe was bringing a vision to life that would change the way the IT world thinks of cyber security training, something that wouldn’t be a “check the box” training that didn’t change behaviors. From his LinkedIn : “That’s why I founded ByteSpire — a gamified cybersecurity training platform that replaces forgettable slideshows with interactive, RPG-style scenarios where employees actually learn by doing.” My kid is brilliant.

Joe enjoyed video games like World of Warcraft. In high school he played tennis and starred as Rooster in the musical “Annie“. He was recognized as military child of the year alongside a handful of other youth while we were at Fort Drum, New York. He played Dungeons & Dragons, loved music, and took up rock climbing. He was a gifted artist like his father.

Joe’s dream was to one day move to Denmark. He wanted to adopt a child and be a father.

Joey is passionate and fiery and determined. He is courageous and faces his fears head on. Joe holds space for anyone who needs it. Joey is a light that can’t be dimmed.

This last year was a year full of personal victories for Joe. It was, by far, one of his best. I’m so grateful he had that. It brings us comfort. He was living his life to the fullest and he was happy.

On the way to celebrate what would have been his 31st birthday on August 16th, I saw a quote by Wallace Stegner, painted on the wall that said “The brook would lose its song if we removed the rocks.”

Joey‘s song is loud and beautiful. And now his song is part of ours.

I always told him he’s my greatest treasure. I’m asking for your help to share the treasure that Joey is.

In honor of the beautiful, bright light he gave us, please do something kind for a stranger. When you do something kind in honor of Joe, please let them know who it’s for and ask them to pay it forward. Open the door for someone. Leave a kind note on a windshield. Let somebody go in front of you in line. Give a compliment. Big or small, it doesn’t matter. It’s the kindness that makes a difference.

Pass his light on.

My heart is with everyone who has been feeling his loss. Please keep us in yours. We need your prayers. We need your voice. We need you to help us create something beautiful in Joe‘s honor. Be kind and gentle with each other. That’s what he’d want.

We ❤️ you Joe.

Joe,

I love you with my whole heart.

I know you were joking around when you said you gave me the gift of yourself a few days before we lost you. But honey, you are so right. You ARE a gift. You are my greatest treasure, and I am so very proud of everything you’ve done with your short life and so, so very proud of who you are.

It is an honor and privilege to be your mom. I love you so much.

XOXO

❤️ Mom