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Why is a funeral so important?

MemorialAdmin • Sep 26, 2019

 

Recently, an article came out highlighting the incredible relationship between a mother Orca and her baby calf, who passed away shortly after being born. The mother, Tahlequah, used her snout to keep her deceased calf afloat for 17 days and covered over 1,000 miles of ocean in the process, an unprecedented display of mourning and grief. The sojourn of Tahlequah highlights that animals, just like humans, often form intense and complex bonds with our family and friends throughout their lives. So, when a death occurs, it creates an immediate sense of loss and grief. The funeral ceremony is designed specifically to help families navigate through this grief and mourning and to help start them on the right path towards healing.

 

Funerals and Memorial Services are ceremonies that allow us to take a step back and reflect on a life well lived by someone that we loved. They invite us to honor those we care about most and learn more about their lives from others that knew them. When someone we cherish passes away, it is completely natural and okay to be sad and grief stricken. Tears, sadness, and even emotional outburst are all natural and healthy consequences of losing someone we loved. The funeral service and accompanying ceremonies like the viewing, the family dressing (which is when the closest family and friends come to the funeral home to help dress their loved one), and the service itself all create a respectful environment where it is safe for you to express these feelings of grief and sadness.

 

Taking the time to reflect on their life and impact also helps kickstart the healing process as the collective sharing of those memories cements in your heart and mind the legacy they’ve left with you, which you can go back and reflect on when the sad feeling of grief inevitably come back from time to time.

 

How does the funeral help with the grieving process?

The act of seeing your loved one throughout the funeral experience forces you to acknowledge the reality of their death, which is the very first step in the grieving process. The funeral is also a socially acceptable venue to express the intense feelings associated with grief, which is an important step in the grieving journey. Studies also show that taking the time to remember your loved one is an important component of grieving, which is one of the central tenants of the funeral. Additionally, the act of holding a funeral sends a signal to the community that you are open to receiving their support, which is something you will need in the immediate aftermath of the death of a loved one. And finally, the funeral or memorial service gives you the opportunity to have time to search for meaning and develop a new self-identity, which are additional components of a healthy grieving journey.

 

“I don’t want a funeral, just throw me in a box and have a party”?

Most people say that in an effort to be self-deprecating and humble, which isn’t a bad thing at all! However, two important things to keep in mind is that number one, someone has died. That is a devastating and life-altering event. Your spouse, kids, and grandkids are most likely not going to be wanting to throw a party over your passing! Because of that, the funeral is really for them. It’s for those surviving family members who are devastated and grieving your loss. It creates a space for them to follow the path of a healthy grieving process and to take the time to acknowledge the reality of the death, embrace the pain of the loss, remember them, develop a new self-identity, search for meaning, and receive ongoing support from others.

 

“I’m not religious and don’t want that incorporated into my funeral”

We will specifically design the funeral service to meet your family’s needs, regardless of religious affiliation or lack thereof. For those who do not align themselves with any religion, we offer many non-traditional ways to commemorate your loved ones’ life, from large outdoor services under our beautiful canopies to intimate community gatherings in our own facilities. We can also help you secure a non-traditional venue. We’ve coordinated and ran funeral services at high schools, country clubs, parks, and even hotel conference rooms in the past.

 

By Belle Archuleta 13 Mar, 2024
Written by Memorial Mortuary & Cemeteries in-house Grief Counselor, Amanda Nelsen Technology and Grief Grief often changes our whole world – and the digital age has brought about a whole new dimension of grief. Mourning used to be more intimate – something that was done with a small group of family or friends and typically in person. Now our grief experience can play out on the public stage of social media, online communities, and virtual memorials. Below we will highlight a few of the unique challenges and unexpected opportunities that come with navigating grief in our tech-connected world. The Social Media Dilemma In the digital era, it's become customary to share our lives online, but when it comes to grief, the lines blur. Condolences come in the form of likes and comments, leaving us to grapple with the question: Is a virtual hug as comforting as a real one? The struggle to balance the genuine support from our online circles with the sometimes superficial nature of digital interactions is real. We can be surrounded by digital support, but still feel quite alone in our grief day-to-day. Online Communities One beneficial aspect of grieving in the digital age is the emergence of online communities that offer comfort and understanding. Whether it's a forum, a Facebook group, or a subreddit, these virtual spaces have become very popular over the past couple decades. The ability to connect with others who have walked a similar path can be a lifeline in times of isolation. They can be especially helpful when you feel you have a unique grief/situation and are having a hard time finding people around you who have been through a similar situation. The Echo Chamber of Grief While online support can be a balm for the grieving soul, the digital echo chamber can also amplify the pain. Constant reminders of loss, triggered by algorithms and shared memories, can sometimes hinder the healing process. Striking a balance between staying connected and avoiding being overloaded can be difficult. Pressure to Post These days, when we are so connected, grieving in the public eye can sometimes feel like a performance. We might feel pressure to share our grief when we aren’t ready, or to put a positive spin on our grief when we aren’t feeling that way. We also may not want to share anything about our grief at all, which can also leave others feeling like we aren’t “properly” grieving. It can sometimes feel difficult to balance vulnerability and privacy. Embracing the Pros and Cons of Digital Grief In our hyperconnected world, grief weaves itself into many digital aspects of our lives. The challenges are real, but so are the opportunities for connection and understanding. As we navigate loss in the digital age, let's remember that grief is as unique as the internet – messy, unpredictable, and ultimately, a deeply human experience. So here's to finding comfort in the virtual hugs, solace in shared stories, and navigating grief in a world that's more connected than ever. If you feel like you could use extra support with your grief, please reach out to Amanda Nelsen Amanda.Nelsen@MemorialUtah.com.
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  Written by Memorial Mortuary & Cemeteries in-house Grief Counselor, Amanda Nelsen How can I get closure? This is a question I hear on a pretty regular basis. And I completely understand what is behind it – we want to be able to put the painful feelings of grief behind us. We want to be … Continued The post Grief Integration appeared first on Memorial Mortuaries.
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Written by Memorial Mortuary & Cemeteries in-house Grief Counselor, Amanda Nelsen The topic of regret has been on my mind recently. I often hear clients talk about the regrets they had after a loved one died – some become quite reflective on things they could have done differently or “better” while their loved one was … Continued The post Regret appeared first on Memorial Mortuaries.
By MemorialAdmin 30 Mar, 2022
    As a grief therapist, I have seen a lot of people grieving loved ones who died from Covid-19 over the past couple of years. A recent study has shown that people who have experienced the death of a loved one due to Covid-19, have increased mental health issues than a pre-pandemic death (Breen, … Continued The post Navigating Grief During and After the Covid-19 Pandemic appeared first on Memorial Mortuaries.
By MemorialAdmin 23 Apr, 2020
We are grateful your family has chosen to entrust your loved one into our care. The recent COVID-19 pandemic has required us to enact some adjustments to how we conduct arrangement conferences, viewings, funeral or memorial services, and other aspects of our processes. Our goal is to allow you and your family to spend as … Continued The post An Update regarding COVID-19 and its impacts on funeral, burial, and memorial services appeared first on Memorial Mortuaries.
By MemorialAdmin 07 May, 2019
Many of us have seen a loved one struggle with a terminal diagnosis. It isn’t something we like to talk about, but many of us will also get our OWN terminal diagnosis.  Having a terminal diagnosis brings its own type of grief and decisions to be made. How do you grieve your own death before … Continued The post Coping With A Terminal Illness appeared first on Memorial Mortuaries.
By MemorialAdmin 03 Jan, 2019
Written by Memorial Mortuary & Cemeteries in-house grief counselor, Amanda Nelsen: I am often asked for resources for young children who have lost someone close to them. Stories are often a good way to open up dialogue with children and illustrate death in a more concrete fashion. I compiled some of my favorites for easy … Continued The post Grief Resources for Children appeared first on Memorial Mortuaries.
By MemorialAdmin 14 Nov, 2018
Written by Memorial Mortuary & Cemeteries in-house grief counselor, Amanda Nelsen: The holiday season is upon us again.  This can be a particularly tough time to navigate if you are grieving.  In fact, if you google “holidays and grief” the first result is for a depression/suicide hotline number.  Obviously, there is a lot of heartache … Continued The post Experiencing Grief During the Holiday Season appeared first on Memorial Mortuaries.
By MemorialAdmin 23 Aug, 2018
Grief is unpleasant.  Grief is heartbreaking.  Grief is HARD. Written by Memorial Mortuary & Cemeteries in-house grief counselor, Amanda Nelsen: But grief is also natural. We should be heartbroken when someone we love dies.  We should be sad and lonely when death takes a dear friend.  It doesn’t mean it’s easy to feel those emotions, … Continued The post Normal Grieving appeared first on Memorial Mortuaries.
By MemorialAdmin 12 Jul, 2018
At some point during our life, grief is inevitable.  It is a part of the human experience.  But it is also isolating, and often leaves the bereaved feeling lonely and detached from those around them. Written by Memorial Mortuary & Cemeteries in-house grief counselor, Amanda Nelsen: So what do you do when someone you love … Continued The post What Grieving People Want You to Know appeared first on Memorial Mortuaries.
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